Ces & Wenshit : thks :):)

today went for cip AGAIN
it's at east coast OBS campus which is ...
DAMN INACCESSIBLE
hate the location to the core
and the debriefing was just a drama
but i think the kids are cute :)

BT1 is coming up...
and i can swear that i'm gng to FLUNK it
cause nth seems to get in my brains :(
oh mans...
my future seems so bleak
like i dunno where i'm getting to in my life

Perhaps that's growing up
when all fantasies are cruelly destroyed
and the truth is in your face.
You can't avoid it, can't ignore it,
can't do anything about it.
So you can only surrender with your hands up,
trying your best to salvage what's left.
Yet, the world won't stop for you.
It will just keep spinning on its own pace,
with you feeling lost and giddy and hurt.
And you'll find slowly and painfully,
what had been taken away from you,
what you had lost to the process, "Growing Up".

this is nt an emo post anymore,
just some reflections on my current situation.
i love doing reflections cause it enables me to think
and this is the place to put some thinking into words.

seriously, i'm sorry to whoever i hurt this year due to my mood and stuff
you all know who you are
i was too judgemental, too easily agitated
i hope to salvage....
if you all would let me.

i'm a sinner, and i hope to be saved... ...

emotional rollercoaster for both days...
but zn's msg and cords' confession that she misses me cheer me up :)

seriously what the hell am i becoming??!!
i cant seem to keep my emotions in check!!
screw the process of growing up
screw my emotions
screw the whole damn hard relationship with people
screw me

i'm damn apologetic for screamin at willie e other day
i didnt know wat happened to me...
how can i be so rude to him?!
shit me
lucky cords pointed out to me in time
thks :):)

AND i seriously think,
everyone should do some self-reflections when anything happens
it could be tat someone's fault,
STILL it could be your fault too
normally, it's both parties' faults...
i'm silly and childish enough to let it get to me
now, im too weak to tolerate any more nonsense
both physically and mentally
wat kinda trouble have i gotten into?!

just found out that my tears are damn invaluable
hurt and stressed,
tat's what i am now

this is a post to let off those negative emotions inside me
they are suffocating me..
either they are accumulating at a very fast pace
or my heart's too small for them to stay
anw, i secretly wish no one will be free to read this post

perhaps i wont press that "publish post" button?

...............................................................

nah i think i'll still post it
but no one's to take anything personally k?
cause those possible characters wont read this blog hahas

hello i've never blogged for ages!
hahas okay just to say that i got promoted and am now a J2
and my MSA results...
chem= 1.5/30
yes, ur eyes had no probs
there's a decimal pt between the '1' & '5'
hahas thus i'm down for remedial lessons
which proved to be crap cause they give us tests durin the lesson
:(:(:(
nah but i'm very sure that chongchong will be a great help
hahas he's a damn cute tcher!! joker lah

went through quite a lot during this period
and im really thankful for the existence of my family
those support and encouragement...
i was given what i needed at that point of time
heard from the chapel that God will carry one...
in my case, it's the family :)
i'm getting stronger and stronger by the day
getting more and more like a true Leo
i've also overcome those scary things...
hehe :):):):):):)

but shit, that bruise at the back of my hand hurts :(