:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(
im feeling very terrible!!!
i hate these months in SA!!!
ok, let's see what had happened within these months
i learnt how to deal with the emptiness around me
i learnt how to blank my mind anytime i wanted
i learnt how to forget those lousy grades i got (not tat i've even cared before)
i tasted the loneliness as i walked down the corridors
i tasted failure that i've never tasted so strongly before
GOSHHHH
i could only see how much i am a failure now!
yes, failing in tests, friendships etc
i met new people with new characters
and i need to do what i hated most : adapt
AHHHHHH
i just wanted to be ME: uncouth, straightforward...
is that difficult??
vivian is damn right about some things
so are we going to become loners while we stayed true to ourselves?
or are we going to give in and be another person?
i hope there was no changes at all
i could have my frens, my grades, my tchers
guess wat i need most when i scored badly?
my fren's encouragement and constant nagging,
my tcher's harsh lecturing but at e same time, constant help
i miss everything in nanhua
when everything was simple and straightforward
i hate being a failure
but i am a failure
i guess this hurts the most
" Nothing is constant in the world, except change"
and i think i'm changing...
for the worse
the past is nothing but a bubble
which bursts just with one touch
the memories are nothing but pieces of glass
which cut your fingers just with one touch
just with one touch...
cos when i look back now,
it hurts
as i know i'm not ME anymore

--thk god, i still know u---