Silence

Nonono

2010-07-02T21:36:00.002+08:00

Am down with fever :(

Some random thoughts:

1) I feel old.

2) I feel bored.

3) I feel stressed.

4) I need money.

5) I need fun.

Lastly, I want a healthy me.

You could be happy

2010-06-21T14:08:00.002+08:00

This blog's quite dead.

I won't remember about it if not for kekenut-sshi. Haha

Quitted my job so I'm pretty free nowadays.

Uni's starting in a bit more than 1 month,

and I confess that I'm actually scared of uni life.

Everything seems so... scary.

Furthermore, Mr Brain had rejected my phone calls thousands times

after the break from A Levels.

"HELLOOOO! You THERE??!!"

Got into NUS FASS by a stroke of luck.

I don't know if it's a blessing in disguise or actually a part of my path to hell.

But heck care.

I'll just take each step at a time.

Talked to kekenut-sshi over msn.

H2H talk, haha.

Makes me think about what happened these years.

Pro and con about JC: I got some friends, and lost some on the way.

Just life, isn't it?

You take some, and lose some.

That's how the world works.

It's just a pretty hard blow

when you realise that you aren't as worldly-wise as you think you are.

That night, I remembered alot of people.

Those who are destined to be passers-by of my life,

despite my hardest efforts to defy.

Those who wanted to stay in my life,

but I chased them away.

Regrets are still there but nothing can be undone, right?

You could be happy, and I won't know.

But you weren't happy, the day I watched you go.

Hold on to me... please.

2010-04-19T19:13:00.002+08:00

Been busy with jobs these days.

A happy note: going Korea next month :D

Oh, and I just dyed my hair.

Okay, a confession to make.

I'm quite disappointed at a person's change.

Okay, not quite, but VERY.

I really thought that we could be friends forever.

But obviously, no.

I'll just let everything fade away, let you go.

Sometimes I wonder whether it's me who pushed you there.

If so, everything's my fault.

Or it was no one's fault in the first place.

You've found your faith, I should be happy about it.

Yea, I should, only if you didn't throw me away.

The nonchalant tone of my voice was just a mask.

I cared, but no, I won't let it show.

Thanks for being the greatest company during my jc days.

Knowing that I can always depend on you in times of difficulties,

giving you a call whenever i feel sad,

going out for fun when I feel lost and bored.

Holding on is not my style.

But all my friends, hold on to me... please.

GOOD OLD DAYS

2010-01-27T15:11:00.003+08:00

Have abandoned this blog for a VERY long time.

Then why have I come back?

'cause I'm suddenly reminiscing the good old times.

To my surprise, those are actually JC days.

To think that that was the period of time I skipped school the most.

Maybe it's the company, teachers or just the campus.

Out in the real world working is so much boring and tedious.

Seems like school is actually a paradise, which shields the children from the cruelty of the outside world.

You know how we always write in GP essays "In this dog-eat-dog society blah blah blah",

but no one actually knew what those words meant.

Now, i guess we do.

Just a growing-up phase of life?

So that means I've grown up?

Nevertheless, i'm still glad that I've still gt close friends from JC :)

Wong, Cords and sishood :)

The people who turned me into a much happier person.

Under their influence, I've actually become more positive-minded.

Seeing the world through their eyes makes the world look so much simpler.

Haha That's a compliment :)

A shoutout to BESTIE: Don't be sad anymore! You deserve better, if you get what i mean :D

PISSED

2009-12-21T11:40:00.001+08:00

Haven't slept a wink after clubbing.
Just one thing to declare,
I'm DAMN PISSED OFF AT THOSE TWO!

A night to remember

2009-11-28T01:52:00.011+08:00

Abandoned this blog for damn long...

One thing to declare-- 'A's are OVER!
OMG OMG OMG OMG

Straightaway, on the day I officially finished my exams,

I had a stayover at buddy chua's hs with cordy, ting-jie and sishood.

It's DAMN FUN!! :)

Maybe cause it marks the end of our suffering as well. hehe

We reached buddy's hs early to prepare surprise for cordy and small pluto.

HEHE tricked em tt we're only gng at 8.

We had fun singing, omg the karoke system is just damn cool.

My buddy's hs is a K-box, neh, Chua-box. HAHA

Then we surprised ALL with a hidden cameo.
(except me, buddy, mins and bestie)

Mins stormed into the room with me,

but i just walk in, neh storm.Then the conflict began......

Mins quarelled with bestie and stormed off again.

I did wat I'm DAMN good at-- add oil to fire.

HAHA ALL OF EM WERE SCAMMED!

Then mins and buddy came in with e cake... AWW

We had fun partying the whole night!

OH and small pluto cried!

Ending the whole thing with a nice pic :)

2009-09-30T19:53:00.000+08:00

Name: Evon
Date: 9/30/2009
Colorgenics Number: 42530167

You are always alert and keenly observant. You are not truly satisfied with your everyday status and you are seeking fresh avenues which can give you the opportunity to prove your worth. You feel that there are still many barriers that stand between you and recognition - but one by one you will overcome them. Your tenacity is your one good point - like an English Bulldog, once you take the bite, you will seldom let go.
You are looking for excitement and stimulation and you are ready to try anything - but be careful not to take too many risks.

Your involvements seldom measure up to your high emotional expectations and your 'needs' to be 'loved' and 'cared for' have in the past often led to extreme disappointment. But a change is in the wind - make a firm decision to start anew. Just 'think' it..and it will happen.
Presently, you are experiencing stress because of restriction on your independence. You need and seek respect from other people and it is essential that they appreciate you for yourself and not for what they would like you to be. You have your own beliefs and convictions and you would like to be respected for them. You are anxious to avail yourself of every opportunity that may come your way but nevertheless, come what may, you have the need to control your own destiny without imposed limitations or restrictions.

You are anxious about all the limitations to which you are subjected to at this time. You feel that you are not valued for what or who you are. You need OUT. So why procrastinate any longer - MOVE!

Smiles

2009-09-24T19:24:00.002+08:00

Bad week.
But smiles are still on my face.
Plastered.

I need some support.
And someone who can look through my smile.

Just realised that I'm indeed a Leo.

When time remains still

2009-09-19T15:39:00.002+08:00

Finished prelims and am rotting at home now.
Blogger account was spoiled a few months ago,
that's why it's damn stagnant.
haha

Life is boring like hell.

Study study study.

Oh yea, I'm totally into K-pop now. HAHA
Super Junior and Wondergirls!!
I'm an E.L.F and Wonderful :D
And my buddy chua likes em as well :D:D

I need to go out and take a break.
Anyone?

Turn away

2009-07-13T19:09:00.002+08:00

Exams are OVERRRR!
And trust me, I'm going to flunk.

Met up with 403 clique for anda's b'dae,
had sakae buffet with viv.
All these in last week. haha

Looking forward to little potter with zilianers on thurs.
Hope nth will go wrong.
Like unable to get tix cause they are sold out.
haha

School's a bore, having so many useless breaks in between.
Have to get down to studying fast cause there's PRE-prelim.
How lame can that be?!
It's alr PRElim, but they still want PRE-PRElim.
But it's all for our own good, muahah

Tml's photo-taking day haha
oh and cords' with her CUTE bangs :)
Everybody was saying how cute she was, and she was like,
"HUH! I don't want cute!"
Yea, she wants to be pretty.
But sometimes, dreams are just dreams.
Ouch.
Haha jkjk, Cords' the prettiest ;D

XD XD XD
Sishood's been talking bout the 'XD' face.
Quite cute eh?
And lyndon's our co-CT.
hahas how cute is that!
Lyndon and Willie, perfect combo!

Hehe been blabbering on for so long.
Okay, need to get back to my SGC.
Evon's a girl who has yet to fully utilise her potential....
Even though she's feeling drained.

In memorial of Pop Icon

2009-07-03T19:06:00.003+08:00

★★★★★★
R.I.P, M.J.

Totally addicted to jap dramas now.
YAMASHITA!!!

You keep me thinking.

2009-06-21T18:06:00.002+08:00

★★★★★★
People change.
Accept it.

2009-06-15T20:49:00.002+08:00

★★★★★★
Went studying with vivian today.
Never meet up for quite a long time. :D
Tmr with bestie, and wed's with vivian again :D
HAPPY MUGGING!

You know it's a funny thing how you expect people to compromise when you are not doing it in the first place.
I convinced myself that I had enough of it in the past,
and tried to shift the blame to others.

I find myself so repulsive now.

Let go.

2009-06-13T18:29:00.003+08:00

★★★★★★
It's sad that people you know become people you knew.

Last camp in SA

2009-06-06T19:12:00.002+08:00

★★★★★★
I've just returned from camp.
Energy-draining and can only catch 2 hrs of slp (5am to 7am)
Which also means that i spent my 5/6/09 fully awake.
I'm deadbeat now, still, I decided to blog. :D
Interact camp was really fun with the interact peeps.
Jokes and craps and cards were fun :D
Spent the whole night/morning scaring the hell out of the J1s
HaHa
Call me sadistic, but those shocked expressions were classic!
:D:D
And the movie, SHUTTER, wasn't that scary after all.
Managed to stay till the very end of my camp, and I'm proud of myself.
At least I didn't let my swollen, disgusting eyes get in the way.

Yujie and I lay on the grass and did some star-gazing. :D:D
It was damn nice, and I love the grass on the hockey field :)
Both of us were trying to differentiate stars from satellites
Haha, all thks to the BOF Goo jun-pyo.
Night in school can be very relaxing as well. :)

It's kinda sad that this camp's really gonna be the last second time we can come together as a CCA.
I'll definitely miss them alot.
They brought so many laughters to my life,
and of course, gossips as well HAHA
They are the best bunch of people in the CCA,
and I'm so glad I can be one of them :D

Going to try to do something the workshop taught me.
If you copy the words and enlarge them, this shows that you're my true friend LOL

Can you even look me in the eye?

2009-06-04T20:24:00.002+08:00

★★★★★★

Frigging tired.
The workshop is -.-
There's still camp tml.
I'm really deadbeat.
Save me.
And my eyes are getting worse.

★★★★★★
Well, I couldn't tell you why she felt that way?
She felt it everyday and I couldn't help her
I just watched her make the same mistakes again

What's wrong, what's wrong now? Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs?

She wants to go home but nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside with no place to go
No place to go to dry her eyes
Broken inside

Open your eyes and look outside find the reasons why
You've been rejected
And now you can't find what you've left behind
Be strong, be strong now
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs?

She wants to go home but nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside with no place to go
No place to go to dry her eyes
Broken inside

Her feelings she hides, her dreams she can't find
She's losing her mind, she's fallen behind
And she can't find her place, she's losing her faith
She's fallen from grace, she's all over the place

She wants to go home but nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside with no place to go
No place to go to dry her eyes
Broken inside

She's lost inside, lost inside
She's lost inside, lost inside
★★★★★★

It's a true reflection of my present life.

If I fall,

2009-05-27T21:19:00.002+08:00

★★★★★★

If I fall, will there be anyone to catch me?

Do I hope there will be a "someone"?
Or do I actually have a secret desire to just fall and feel the pain?

When smiling becomes a chore

2009-05-24T18:18:00.002+08:00

★★★★★★

Sometimes, things don't happen the way you expect it to be.
And what can we do about it?

Other than feigning a smile on my lips, I'm at a loss.
If you have the time, pause and try to look through the smile.

If I had a choice, I'ld like to SCREAM

At least someone really knows me

2009-05-22T21:35:00.002+08:00

★★★★★★

十二星座的悲伤情绪写在哪里?

笑容里　
代表星座：白羊座狮子座　　

有谁不喜欢快乐的人，又有谁能轻易的认同他们的悲伤，记得梁静茹有句歌词，“我的声音在笑，泪在飙，电话那头的你可知道。”或者，羊儿和狮子，有的便是这样数不尽的经历，知道的扼腕，不知道的便根本不知道发生了什么。　
想哭的时候，却莫名忽然笑了，有的时候，悲伤和失望不仅仅只有一种形式。他们如同站在地球的一个小角落，一次次地擦干泪水和汗水，只为了明天能够依旧有甜美的微笑，即使累过，疲惫过，放弃过，哭泣过，想离开过，逃避过，但最后依然还在原来的地方，像最虔诚的教徒，守护和敬仰着最美的梦。用笑容祭奠悲伤。

I lent you my body, You lent me your dream

2009-05-20T21:21:00.003+08:00

★★★★★★

GATTACA :D ETHAN HAWKS :D JUDE LAW :D
Thought-provoking thriller...

Btw, this line in Wolverine is stuck in my head
"If I'm coming with you, I'm coming for blood."

Chem SPA's over.
I'm dog-tired.

When forgiving becomes hard

2009-05-18T21:09:00.002+08:00

★★★★★★

Shall adhere to this kind of blogging style... cause it's so GUIGUI :D
okay, I think Wolverine's a good movie,
so anyone who can afford the time and money, go watch.
AND notice SCOTT SUMMERS as well k! (cyclops)
Cyclops' still my favourite X-Men :D:D

I hope things can change for the better..

★I wish I've never known you

2009-05-14T19:58:00.001+08:00

Too many thoughts running through....
I need someone to talk to

★★★

When you harbour bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere

2009-05-08T21:28:00.002+08:00

Happiness is short-lived and misery can have an impact so huge, you thought you may not recover from it.
And the truth is, you never really do.

Holding on to your beliefs... is like holding sand in your hands

2009-05-05T20:57:00.002+08:00

Conclusion for today: neh like sick.

2009-05-04T20:58:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, there's this pool of memories which suddenly starts swirling,
and you can't help but find yourself drowning in it...
The past just lies exposed there, leaving you to scrutinise every scar.
Nope, not just scars, you can hear those laughters too...
Those days which you know you can no longer return to...
When there's always someone by your side when you tripped,
When there's always someone beside you to curse that bastard.

You don't know who you will see in the mirror again in the years to come.
Perhaps this is the scary part in future.

Being a thinker is not good at all, I realise.
But it's in me, i think.
Sometimes, I envy those with a simple mind.
Live, Love, Laugh :D

SA vs RJ
rugby match tml :D EXCITED!!

When no one's there to catch you

2009-04-30T21:28:00.004+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MINZ!!
I think today's a funny day. HAHA
Sishood was so sweet to get her 18 prezzies, and were given by 18 random people!
How sweet can it be!
Today's PE lesson's a joke :D
Everyone was trying to squeeze the ball amongst dunno-how-many pairs of legs HAHA
AND... It takes 3 to get Liting down. MUAHAHAHA
I went for gym after school to acc those on gym duty.
Bestie kicked my stomach! Actually it wasn't painful at all, but i just act like damn painful.
I ran away from her and went to yingz, and coiled myself under the table.
Bestie was like... damn shocked HAHA
But today bestie jumped 160cm today!! :D WOOHOO

Looking at my contacts now, no one frm S28 is online!
Sishood now at clarke quay, i think, trying to get drunk. HAHA
I sounded like ah-ma today, keep telling 'em not to get too drunk.
OH and i tell 'em not to let kaishit drink ANYTHING. HAHA
Else, she's going to become the joke of the day... AGAIN :)
Kayz, to end with, anyone who wan2 go study, pls jio me as well :)

When only bleeding lets you feel that you're alive

2009-04-29T19:34:00.002+08:00

This week is busy...
I'm damn studious, trying to complete tutorials:)
A first in 4 years HAHA
Anyway, I'm still down with swollen eyes.
IMAGINE!
My eyes are already small to begin with!

I need to study study study.
But news of guigui and aaron still distract me...
HAHA but they're so CUTE together!
OMG... I love 'em to the max :)
Why they dont come to Singapore?!

A confession to make: i like minzx's fifi

2009-04-23T17:08:00.002+08:00

Was sick for the whole week :(
Coughing like nobody's business in the lecture hall these days.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WONGLIYAN!
Hope you enjoyed your birthday thoroughly:)
Sorry for pangseh-ing you :(

My convo with zn was damn funny..
zn: you today pon schl? or sick?
me: sick like a dog
zn: neh like dog

OMG the point is not whether she likes dog k!
HAHA

When the world betrayed you, I'll be standing behind you, betraying the world.

2009-04-17T20:15:00.002+08:00

today S28 celebrated 3 peeps who have the same birthday!
Liting, Wati and Jiachuan.
Having the same birthday with TWO of ur classmates sounds fun.
Anw, as usual, the whole class started "cake fight"and i was so lucky to have a faulty camera at that time,
hence the seriousness of my face staring at the camera scared those potential enemies off.
HAHA
Bought a notebook together with clique for liting and i can see that she was pretty touched :)

Went out with elinanzn today for "17 again".
Seriously, i think this show's quite funnie and worth the ticket.
I'm not a fan of Zac Effron, so dont be mistaken that i went to watch cause of him.
HAHA
And i gave up my eddie cos of him... :( haish
I think I praised elinanzn too much today..
Committed alot of sins by lying.
MUAHAHA neh jkjk elinanzn is the cutest!

This week was quite a week.
And you actually had such an impact on me.
The irritated voice at the end of the phone,
the hurry to hang up on me... ...
I can sense all these.
I know you're busy with SYF, but can i have at least the dignity and respect of a stranger?

2009-04-10T10:23:00.005+08:00

Received pw results ytd.
It was rather heartening to see everyone encouraging each other.
I typed a long email to my pw mates ytd, but failed to send it out.
But nehmind.
I think they knew what i was going to say.
Those times... Those times.... :)

The unfairness of education policies is really driving everyone nuts.
Goddamn it.
What are we upset over? That we got a B?
Definitely not.
It's the unfairness.
We put in so much hard work, and didnt receive marks that give justice to the work.
Seriously, i think our whole class deserves an A.

Less than 30% As in our schl...
Don't ever try to convince me that students in SA don't put in efforts for PW.
I thought competition should be fair and square,
but now, reality had just proven to me that it is not so.
If you want fairness, go to Mars.
Maybe they have it there. Maybe... Maybe...

2009-04-05T19:06:00.002+08:00

This weekend is so tiring for me again.
I should seriously leave my nxt weekend free and do some hw.
Okay, for sat, i went out... and guess what happened?
I was stuck in the middle of the highway!
The car failed in transporting us to the destination,
and it was midnight, for goodness' sake!
But we were lucky that some S'poreans are still kind,and helpful enough to help us.
Though ultimately, we spent 50 bucks to get the car going again.
I think this is damn unlucky. :(

As for sunday, :):):):):)
Went for AJ's carnival to support daph etc with jiatying.
I saw CINDYGWEE & TEOPEIYING!!!!! :D
OMG! I'm damn damn damn damn HAPPY to see em :D
Hahas but it was just hugs and small chats.
I really hope for a zilianers' outing :)
Meeting them just let me realise that I've not forgotten about em at all.
And seeing liyan and gang, just makes me realise that,
there's this small tiny part of me which wishes that we can meet up more often.
Having their company is seriously, sweet and funny.
AND CAUSE OF THIS, TODAY'S THE HAPPIEST DAY IN 2009
so far... hahas

ZILIANERS,
if anyone sees this post, i really miss you gals like hell.
Those fun days in nh :):)
AND JUSTINEKOH, HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY!

2009-04-03T21:25:00.003+08:00

TODAY'S FRIDAY!!

Which means that i can finally rest at home...

but i've gt things on throughout the weekend :( bleh

okay, i've got 2 godfrens today : ZN and funsize :):)

muahaha

And godfren no.1 (zn), cx and wongliting gt sunburnt

and their skin are peeling off now!

Spent a substantial amt of time helping em to peel their skin.

Kq's condition like not very serious...

but she got the flu bug, so shall wish her speedy recovery :D

ok shall post a very random photo now.

hahas

You know, sometimes silence doesnt mean ignorance.
It's when you know so much and think so much

that uttering a word can really hurt and kill.

Some wounds just dont heal.

Sitting on a bus can evoke those vivid memories,

and you realise that they were actually etched in your mind.

People say time can heal,

yes, maybe they'll fade, but definitely not disappear.

And you know what?
Just remembering can tear the weak heart apart.

There's always this part of me that's oblivious to others.

Maybe it's great this way.

They say friends should share happiness and sorrow,

but i dont think so.

I'ld rather the image of me as a fren is the cheerful kind.

Leave the sorrow to your own,

and dont spread the unhappiness to your frens.

i think this is much more practical.
I think my studies suck.

I think my life sucks.
I think the world sucks.

I think I suck.

2009-03-31T19:19:00.002+08:00

hi peeps!!
hahas okay schl reopens and gt back my results..
all U-s.... so... hahas
the '.....' stands for a million words. :)
anw, let me recall wat happened these few days.
Oh, S28, my beloved class, had our service learning at ECP--
picking up litter.
MUAHAHA
But it was so unexpectedly FUN. :)
It was high tide then, and the breeze was damn cooling :)
I missed the 'feel' of the sea.

Went to meet up with vivi at bugis
and as usual, she's LATE.
I left home 15 mins before our actual meeting time,
and guess wat, she can STILL be 20 mins later than me.
hais... shld have left home one hr after the supposedly meeting time.
Anw, we ate, shopped, crapped etc
and i finally made up my mind and followed her to IMM..
Not to see Fahrenheit, of cos,
but to kinda celeb jiatying's belated b'dae.
Jiatying's like still damn childish as ever,
but i tot it was great seeing her since we nv really met up.

I just want to sleep this week away...
mudane schl stuff are driving me nuts.
BUT
cordeliahan told me one thing on mon ( ytd)
which totally made my day! :)
hahas i'm overjoyed, though i didnt really show it on my face
It's just me to keep things in my heart
:):):):):):):):)

a note to end with,
i wish those sunburnt peeps in my class can get better!
Esp wongliting who looks so serious today...
for elinanzn, i think the tan suits her better
HAHA

2009-03-19T19:54:00.002+08:00

helloooo...
i'm currently left with econs BT1
and no, dont ask me how were the other tests.
been slacking thru the holis, dun feel like studying.
I think sometimes i ponder about meaningless things too much.
It wont help me in the end, will it?
i'm freaking annoying and senseless sometimes.
manzzzzzzzz

Anw, i watched marley and me with jing.
FINALLY
That show reallly made me cry :(
Dogs seem to be quite cute eh?
Maybe i should accept them....
oohhh and jennifer anniston's my new idol.
hahas i watched two of her movies consecutively!

Sometimes i wonder...
Why time can dilute relationships between people.
I mean, a few years ago,
i was on really good terms with them.
We can talk endlessly, talk REAL crap,
and even silence is a comfortable thing to live with.
Now, i can sense that everyone's trying damn hard to engage in conversation.
The tiny little bit of silence has turned out to be so awkward.
That wasnt us 2 years ago...
but as i said, it was 2 years ago.
Perhaps it's only me.
Perhaps i'm thinking too much.
Perhaps... This is the truth that I keep avoiding.

2009-03-08T18:17:00.000+08:00

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Commitment Even though it may not always seem like it, deep down you are afraid of being committed to anything serious. You love the feeling of being carefree and not having anything tying you down. You're afraid that someone or something that may tie you down in life, will keep you from reaching other goals. You may also be afraid of getting hurt. You need to open yourself up more to possibilities and realize that sometimes it's good to be committed to something that you really care about. Just because you're an independent, free-spirited person doesn't mean that being committed to anything is going to change who you are.
Looked down on
Disappointment
Where Your life is Going
Being Alone
Losing Someone
Death
http://www.gotoquiz.com/what_is_your_true_fear">What is your True Fear? http://www.gotoquiz.com/">Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

2009-02-28T21:59:00.002+08:00

Ces & Wenshit : thks :):)

today went for cip AGAIN
it's at east coast OBS campus which is ...
DAMN INACCESSIBLE
hate the location to the core
and the debriefing was just a drama
but i think the kids are cute :)

BT1 is coming up...
and i can swear that i'm gng to FLUNK it
cause nth seems to get in my brains :(
oh mans...
my future seems so bleak
like i dunno where i'm getting to in my life

Perhaps that's growing up
when all fantasies are cruelly destroyed
and the truth is in your face.
You can't avoid it, can't ignore it,
can't do anything about it.
So you can only surrender with your hands up,
trying your best to salvage what's left.
Yet, the world won't stop for you.
It will just keep spinning on its own pace,
with you feeling lost and giddy and hurt.
And you'll find slowly and painfully,
what had been taken away from you,
what you had lost to the process, "Growing Up".

this is nt an emo post anymore,
just some reflections on my current situation.
i love doing reflections cause it enables me to think
and this is the place to put some thinking into words.

seriously, i'm sorry to whoever i hurt this year due to my mood and stuff
you all know who you are
i was too judgemental, too easily agitated
i hope to salvage....
if you all would let me.

i'm a sinner, and i hope to be saved... ...

2009-02-26T21:45:00.002+08:00

emotional rollercoaster for both days...
but zn's msg and cords' confession that she misses me cheer me up :)

seriously what the hell am i becoming??!!
i cant seem to keep my emotions in check!!
screw the process of growing up
screw my emotions
screw the whole damn hard relationship with people
screw me

i'm damn apologetic for screamin at willie e other day
i didnt know wat happened to me...
how can i be so rude to him?!
shit me
lucky cords pointed out to me in time
thks :):)

AND i seriously think,
everyone should do some self-reflections when anything happens
it could be tat someone's fault,
STILL it could be your fault too
normally, it's both parties' faults...
i'm silly and childish enough to let it get to me
now, im too weak to tolerate any more nonsense
both physically and mentally
wat kinda trouble have i gotten into?!

just found out that my tears are damn invaluable
hurt and stressed,
tat's what i am now

this is a post to let off those negative emotions inside me
they are suffocating me..
either they are accumulating at a very fast pace
or my heart's too small for them to stay
anw, i secretly wish no one will be free to read this post

perhaps i wont press that "publish post" button?

...............................................................

nah i think i'll still post it
but no one's to take anything personally k?
cause those possible characters wont read this blog hahas

2009-02-06T21:14:00.002+08:00

hello i've never blogged for ages!
hahas okay just to say that i got promoted and am now a J2
and my MSA results...
chem= 1.5/30
yes, ur eyes had no probs
there's a decimal pt between the '1' & '5'
hahas thus i'm down for remedial lessons
which proved to be crap cause they give us tests durin the lesson
:(:(:(
nah but i'm very sure that chongchong will be a great help
hahas he's a damn cute tcher!! joker lah

went through quite a lot during this period
and im really thankful for the existence of my family
those support and encouragement...
i was given what i needed at that point of time
heard from the chapel that God will carry one...
in my case, it's the family :)
i'm getting stronger and stronger by the day
getting more and more like a true Leo
i've also overcome those scary things...
hehe :):):):):):)

but shit, that bruise at the back of my hand hurts :(

2009-01-06T22:24:00.002+08:00

ok this is my first post for 2009
first thing i would like to mention:
my LUEs are over!
and the sad thing is, maybe i gonna fail my econs
which means... ...
I may be retained

ok i think im getting split personality
to think that 2 hrs ago, i was encouraging cx,
and crapping with maple.
now, im getting moody over the fact that i maybe retained
maybe i'm going nuts? hehe

okay back to the 2009 post.
hmmm shall reflect on 2008, like wat i saw other blogs do
okay u can call me copycat hehe
so it shall start like this
Reflections for 2008:
1. JJC for PAE--- met a bunch of good frens and OG mates
they're damn CRAZY and WILD
hahas and i can always make conversations with em easily :)

2. 'O' level results
i'm quite happy over my results cause it was a big jump frm prelims
hehe

3. SAJC for PAE
gosh that was once a nightmare
trying to adapt was... ...
thk god i had 08S28 and yujie
they made my life much more easier and happier :)
CT, promos and LUE--- flunked
what else can i say?

so life goes on and here 2009 comes.

i'm left standing on my own, speechless

I painted this big old smile on my face
to hide my own broken heart

Ready, set, don't go

2008-12-19T21:23:00.003+08:00

chalet's over :) and i had a great time

i really miss nanhua

it had been one year, and everything seemed to have change

2008-12-06T19:32:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAPHNE TAN :):)

ytd went out with nh peeps to celeb daph's b'dae
daph and jing were so CRAZY over their "bfs" in Indonesia
hahas
ate carl's junior, walked arnd ps and headed to nhsb concert

it's something i would not like to admit,
but the concert stirred something in my heart...
i was once a part of that band, until my determination ran out
and i gave up cause i cant bear with my lousy skills
i convinced myself that i wont get any better,
and used this as an excuse to escape frm the reality
in short words, I GAVE UP.
i concentrated on the juniors playing clarinet at first,
and was amazed at the speed their fingers moved
that was the prob which i couldnt overcome at first: the speed
but anw, i feel proud of the band :):)

the concert brought me memories of my pri schl band too
i was a trumpeter then :)
even though there are silly dance movements everytime we perform,
i feel so accomplished everytime we finished our performance.
yea, 3 years in that band were so fruitful
i can even recall how the band room looks like!!

coming back to the present, i dunno wat kinda life i'm living now.
screw my life.
screw me.

" Yet we're never left alone, with a heavy cross to bear"
i hope these words are true, and He'll always be there

2008-11-27T21:53:00.001+08:00

presenting to you, NG ZHENGNING...and her red hair which i like

Yet we're never left alone

2008-11-26T20:55:00.003+08:00

yepyep :):)

first thing: i LOVE ZN's hair colour~!

omg, i wish i can have that colour for my hair luh!!

hais anw i saw LOLLIPOP at IMM :)

hahas ok i guess my love for them kinda faded away alr

and believe me, owodog was soooo CUTE!!

hahas

i'm watching ON AIR right now and trust me, that drama is real good

it gives an insight on the lives of those media workers :)

omg i'm just so jealous of zn's hair!!

2008-11-20T16:57:00.002+08:00

yepyep im here again :)
quite abit happened this few days and the FIRST thing i want to mention is:
MY JAPAN PEEPS ARE GREAT!!
gosh, i just LOVE the language barrier between us!
and hey, im not being sarcastic here,
but it's really great fun to be with them,
and most importantly the interact peeps. :):)
i think this is the first time we really bonded as a CCA..
hahas
and the japs are so friendly and nice people..
we camwhored after the dinner on fri
and im waiting xy to come back frm her taiwan trip to get the photos
oh mans... i kinda missed them now...
yesh, and im damn free nowadays!
so pls jio me out cause lots of my frens went overseas alr!
hahas
:]:]
and....
GSC IS OVER :):)

2008-11-13T20:19:00.002+08:00

today's another gsc day
stayed back in schl with Cx, wenshit and zn after lesson
tml gng out with interact peeps and japan students
:):)

Sometimes i look back and find myself drowning in a pool of memories,
be it happy or sad.
I checked my msn contacts today and found out that...
im the only one keeping 403**.
One year passed, and i havent gotten rid of that.
Why?
I dont know, but definitely not that i'm too lazy.
And once again, i manage to prove that im clinging onto something
which should be given up long ago.
Everyone has started moving, and im just getting stuck.
For god's sake, i SHOULD move on!!
I had the familiar feeling in my heart again,
like all my thoughts are squashed up and twisted into a ball,
and this ball is getting bigger and bigger,
and it's going to distort my heart.

shit!

2008-11-11T19:53:00.002+08:00

this week's a GSC week
i'm going back to school EVERYDAY for the subject
and i had to say that all the lessons have been fruitful so far
still, i'm pretty scared of the upcoming exam
i dont trust in my capability to think critically during exams
and that is what im supposed to do for this subject
i seriously doubt the condition of my brain when i choose this subject
yes, i think i must have been blinded by the idea that i do not need to memorise anything
but what's the point of studyng a subject when you know the highest grade you can get is only a C??
okok i know im crying over spilt milk here
and i'll definitely give my best shot this time

God bless me

2008-11-06T19:16:00.002+08:00

YEAHHHH
the disgusting PEEEWWW is over!!
the stupid subject tat tormented me for one whole yr..
couldnt describe my feelings when i saw the GPF
it's like.... MY BABY!! :)
well, it has been a year
and i seriously feel glad tat i've such good pw mates
everyone's so responsible and nice and funnie
yeas, it had been an enjoyable yr working with em :)

now, i've gt to prepare for 'A' GSC
which is like damn hard...
this certainly means sumthing, coming out frm my mouth
im a damn cheena girl,
and i actually find it HARD :(

ok besides tt, i've still gt LUE
if i dun pass tt, consequences= fatal
yea yea...
so everyone who care for me,
pls pray for me
seriously, i'll need every blessings tat's available

okok, i can see tat my life's quite messed up
i'll try my best to keep it in order

UP AND ON
UP AND ON

2008-10-16T20:43:00.002+08:00

here i am again
with real bad news this time
i did not meet the criteria
and yes, i may not be promoted
i was quite upset
and im seriously glad tat yujie was there for me
sorry girl, u called me 3 times and smsed 3 times
but i didnt check my phone :p
still, i'm really lucky and blessed to have u by my side at tat time
:)

went to catch a move after tt with cords and maple
"The Butterfly Lovers"
it's not tat great a movie but it's quite funnie
or perhaps the 2 gals beside me make it so funnie
their rxns are so.... EXTREME
hahas
and it dawns to me tt this is the first time we catch a movie together
and mayb it's gonna be the last
yea... cos they got promoted :):)
i'm really happiee for those who got promoted
stay in SA and strive for As!!

where were you when i need you???

2008-10-15T19:38:00.002+08:00

tmr's the day...
i kept trying to ignore the approaching date
but somehow it just appears in my mind before i go to sleep
:(:(:(
heard about too much rumors...
and yea, im not in my best mood now
tmr tmr tmr...
what am i afraid of?
retaining or ...
i cant imagine S28 being divided
so pls!!!!
i'm praying very hard that S28 can still stay as a class
can still make silly jokes and conversations
can still go on to be the best PE class
can still tease william lee
can still encourage each other and be with one another

today, we had our last PE lesson of the year
we went up to Dan Ho as a class
and said a big thank you to him
and guess wad?
he was close to tears...
all of us can see his eyes brimming with tears...
the LOUD PE teacher with the softest heart :)
he wished us all the best and told us the most impt thing in jc life
LEARN
he claimed we were his best PE class
i really <3 him to bits :)

it's just something in my heart...
i cant bear knowing that mayb in the nxt yr,
S28 is going to leave someone behind
i cant bear knowing that mayb in the nxt yr,
S28 wont be a class of 24
i really <3 S28 to bits :):)

2008-10-13T21:53:00.002+08:00

HEY WENHANG!!
wish u well too... tk care
sorry, i didnt know what happened
guess im a little too distant
i rmb those sec 3 days...
i can always go to u whenever i've gt probs
yea... and i really wish our paths will be smoother frm now on

yes... im waiting for my promos results
guess i'll hav a big cry after knowing
wahaha just kidding
i DONT cry tat easily
just watched HOT SHOT
and manzz...
JERRY YAN IS JUST SO HOT!
:):):)
i gt cords hooked on him too :D

"cause i believe
那幸福不灭的定律
你的手心不一定要有我握紧"

this song just keep playing in my mind after the show
btw...
LOLLIPOP'S COMING!!
I WANT TO SEE MY OWODOG!!
AHHHHH :D

2008-10-07T21:52:00.003+08:00

"We the zilianest of the zilianers
Pledge to be zilian everyday
Regardless of chioness cuteness and height
So as to influence and encourage ppl to be as zilian as us
To improve ourselves constantly and be more zilian everyday
THE ZILIANERS(:”

took tis frm grace's blog
tat was like 3 yrs ago...
a joke made 3 years ago can turn out to be my fondest memories
:):):)

todae went to bugis for pw
after tt went to city hall with venny and zn
met weiru, munting they all there
spotted weiru at first
den weiru saw me
hahas
munting paused for 5 secs before seeing me sia
hahas
to zn: :) even with ur small eyes, u re still very pretty!! take care
hahas

im nt feelin so good these days
duno why

2008-09-29T20:31:00.002+08:00

:):)
thks ZN, LIYAN and XINYI for your words of comfort
ehh...
but i'ld like to know which xinyi is tat
cos i know quite alot of xinyi
for e.g, im one xinyi!
muahaha
okok i think im abit lame here
:p
anw, im havin GSC tmr
and goin to seoul garden with nh peeps after tat
hehe looking forward to the REALLY end of promos
hmmmm
after promos, there will be a class outing (hopefully)
okok i want a ZILIANERS gathering
meetin up of JJ PAE 08S29
403'07 class gathering
cinema with cords, maple, liting and so on
and yes,
i want to meet up with JIAT YING
gosh it has been almost a yr i've ever seen her
miraculously got into contact with her these days
hahas

and i think our plights are the same
come to think of it,
we went together to check out polys last yr
okok i admit
we end up being fascinated by the no. of foodcourts
and the chinese restaurant in SP
muahaha
we even lost our way and end up in a weird place
and walked DAMN long to the entrance
oh shit is tat trip with her?
eeyur.. i think i've gt memory loss
but i'm pretty sure tt i went to check out polys with her
omg those days seem so far away frm me now

im watchin BLUE CODE now
a jap show
i found out tt the story in jap shows develop very fast
VRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOMMMMMMMM
with only 11 eps, the whole story's finished
:( i wish there was more of it
DAPHNE TAN!!
go watch tt show..
it's bout doctors... i think u'll be interested
muahaha
okok
gtg ... i hope i can stay cheerful alwaes

2008-09-25T19:46:00.003+08:00

promos are ALMOST over...
goshhhhh
i feel that im really damn stupid
to my poly friends out there,
do give me some advice on the poly i shld choose

once again, i know i've disappointed my mum
i dunno wat else i could do
-.-
just let everything stop here
im totally sick of jc life

2008-09-12T21:19:00.002+08:00

:(:(:(
today's chapel is really thought-provoking
okok i admit i kinda drop a few tears
but the video really motivated me a lot
i was getting quite depressed over the mugging
but thks to the video
joel is a strong boy
i really admire him frm the bottom of my heart

"When God closes one door for you,
He has opened the other door for you too"
yes, it's just that the searching for the other door is always hard
and i want to have the strength to find it
joel and his family eventually didnt charge the driver
cause they dont want their lives to be overcom with hatred
:)
i guess i learned quite alot today
Joel gave me the strength to carry on with my life
thks

2008-09-05T17:29:00.002+08:00

GOSH promos promos promos
i think it's killing me and mi frens too...
but i kinda hope it will end soon
though im nt really prepared for it
butbutbutbutbutbut
i hope i can hav my freedom after tat
AND MEET UP WITH ZILIANERS!
i read grace's blog jus now
hahhahaha
ok
i shall mug hard and prepare for promos
ZHENGNING!
we must study hard k
i just read ur blog too
hahas
08S28 shall promote as a class..
NO ONE SHALL BE LEFT BEHIND
seriously, if anione ... *choi*
o8S28 will never feel as a whole class again...
nvm i have faith in them!
and i hope i wont be e one left behind too
yes, evon shall be optimistic

再见说在额头原来泪也会痛
倒流心中怎麼麻醉也没用
深呼吸一分鐘爱突然的词穷
你狠狠甩开我沉默的手彷彿就剧终
草戒指在手中像句点的沉默
明天以后爱变成了问候爱不爱都痛我以為我懂
最后你要自由忘了温柔要套在手中
到最后该不该回头如果我开口爱继续往前走
幸福听著分开的藉口草戒指套在谁手中

草戒指神木与瞳 http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/260389ht.htm

i think tis song's very nice :)
i like the singers oso
hahas
okok
bb time for work

2008-08-31T21:01:00.002+08:00

received grace's msg ytd...
it kinda hit me hard
yea... i truely felt tat way too
weird and lost amongst nanhua peeps
i duno wat to talk about and how to start
but thks zilianers, it was easy with u gals
finally on fri, for the first time in 2008,
ZILIANERS= FULL STRENGTH
woohoo
i really regret nt goin pizza hut with u gals
cos the farewell party ended shortly after u all left
but nvm, there's always a nxt time
for 403 peeps, im sorrie if i was a bad sport tat day
i duno y i became lidat
realli sorrie
i wanted to go IMM,
but e annoying blister on mi foot forbade me
as well as mi growling stomach
hahas
ok

i really hope all of u re happie now
with all of ur new frens etc
those years of frienships :)
i'll rmb

2008-08-21T21:34:00.001+08:00

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight Back at me?
Why is my reflection someone I don’t know?
Somehow I cannot hide Who I am
Though I’ve tried
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
When will my reflection show Who I am inside

2008-08-19T21:44:00.002+08:00

hmm this week is e slackiest wk
onli gt GP test and chem SPA
hahas
btw venny told me sumthing very funnie
she says almost all the PW leaders in mi class hav famous quotes

venny: hahaha 你还敢笑？！
liting: Jia Chuan, 来!
nadiah: DUTT! Please make yourself useful!
cords: Are you stupid or are you just damn stupid?!

GOSH DAMN FUNNIE LUH
wahaha

i'm looking on while the world spins around me
i tried to hold on to something...
but it just slip through my fingers
yes, i'm lost in this world
this world... has never ever been so foreign to me before

2008-08-09T21:43:00.007+08:00

yoyoyoyo

i wan2 be a mugger!hahas

it's a random post :)

ZN & me

huimin, CX and wenshi Hm and CX

hahas they are the "SISTERHOOD"

and cixian is so "ah sao" hahas

UNGLAM sia

stop asking me those qns animore

they re making me more and more helpless

2008-08-04T21:25:00.002+08:00

PTM was...
ok, desmond ng was nice, as compared to the other tchers..
but mi dad was very disappointed with me
n my mum too
hais
it's quarrels and quarrels throughout the days
LIKE SHIT

ok, my pw grp did our pilot project
we found this "thieves' market"
it's very tedious with all those old man looking at us and e hot sun
but we had a fun time at pastamania :)
and Dan treated us yoghurt..
hahas
i think my PW grp is damn fun and nice
at least all are responsible for what they are supposed to do
so we work REALLY together as a grp
though e pics were accidentally deleted..
oh i think it's just pure bad luck
so.. ZN!! dun worry bout it animore..
we dont really blame you
and get well soon!! :)

ok, gals
if i rejected any offers to go out,
i hope u all will 4give me
cos i got to mug...
cos i want to get promoted
omg, i've never been so stressed before
GOSH! i WANT TO SCREAM!!

2008-07-29T21:07:00.003+08:00

THE DARK KNIGHT
mega blockbuster which is worth watching
a hero which the people needs
stick to your principles,
else madness will overcome you

i found e answer to mi qn :D

不知道会不会有那么一天，
我从后面环抱着你的腰，
我的左脸紧紧地粘着你的右脸，
望着我们合拍的照片，
轻问你：“我们下辈子，再抱腰，再粘脸，再下辈子，好不好？”
thks for the msg ...

2008-07-25T21:11:00.002+08:00

YTD
was mi b'day
it was boring
i had lessons till 7 :(
thks to vivian!
SHE BRIGHTENED UP MY DAY!
see, i reached home at 8..
bathed and went to do mi GSC essay
den when i was fretting over e damn essay,
VIVIAN TAN suddenly popped up in mi bedroom!
i was shocked lah
she brought a cake and a card along with her
she wanteed to celeb birthdae with me
i was realli surprised!
and she decorated e cake :D
though e STITCH doesnt really look like STITCH
muahaha
but im really touched :)
thks girl..
just when i thought mi b'dae tis year is a disaster,
u came along :)
GRACETEO: hahas i wan2 meet u too!! :)
CES: hahas, thks girl! i'll try not to pon animore

TODAY
nv go schl cos i spent e whole night awake doing GSC
i started at around 9 last night
and i finished it around 9am today
ok
i admit i slept for 3hrs in between
i think mi chinese standard realli deteriorated
:(
okokokokokokok

我是一条没有人养的鱼背着自由面无表情
彩色眼睛受伤的心只有看到黑白的你
我像一条没有人养的鱼我的悲伤你不在意
说过的话飘过脸颊我无法挥去一切从新再来
舍不得我为什么说再见
能不能收回我说的每一句话
舍不得我为什么不忘记
做一条快乐美人鱼
你的温柔总是来了又去我的孤单(不稀罕同情)
你的电话忍住不打我不想变成习惯等你回来

2008-07-24T21:42:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to me

2008-07-22T21:23:00.002+08:00

EVON IS HAPPIE TODAE! :D
a big thks to JJ peeps for all you've done!
the pizza hut surprise and cards...
thks so much!
after reading all your cards, i suddenly miss PAE 08S29 very much
those fun days when we just keep laughing at every little things
jingwen, xinyi, joanne, shihui, shuran and dejun,
REALLY THKS FOR TODAY
and it touches me tat though tml is your maths lecture test,
u guys still wan2 celebrate mi b'dae with me
(though we didnt manage to watch e movie, hahas)
(though todae's not really mi b'dae, hahas)
though we onli knew each other for 6 months,
it seems like we'd known each other for ages!
thks for brightening up my day :)
i really treasure this friendship...
hope u guys stay happie and jovial~!

P.S. saw wenshi AGAIN at LJS at JP!
FATE FATE FATE!
wahahaaaaaaa

2008-07-18T19:13:00.002+08:00

请不要分了以後　还记得亲吻过的承诺
你的永久　已不属於我
默默低头　那时我很多　话哽在喉咙
你的笑你的快乐　或许我爱太多想太多
我能感受　他比我适合
爱放了手　我伪装冷漠　比你先说分手
请原谅我　原谅我不成熟
不爱你是借口　好让你离开我
请原谅我　好想自私将你占有
你的寂寞就给我承受换你过更好的生活
爱过恨过哭过也笑过亲吻过你的脆弱
其实我比谁都要懦弱
原谅我　必须假装爱错
别让时间逗留　我怕说不出口
原谅我　没有解释太多　
心痛别无所求　彻底忘了我
爱原来有舍得我難過　我才懂

goodbye

2008-07-18T18:58:00.002+08:00

todae went for the commendation day of student council at St Andrew Cathedral
hmm
it's VERY GRAND and IMPORTANT
hahas
but i still fell asleep while e pastor was talking ;p
after tat went to marina with cords, maple n liting
wanted to watch "Penelope"
but e movie's not broadcasting anymore
-.-
hais so we went to yuki yaki :)
nvm im going to watch " The Dark Knight" with JJ peeps
if plans do not change
hahas

im trying to use homework to numb myself

goodbye

2008-07-15T21:39:00.003+08:00

AHHHHH
my results just suck :(
i hope my aunt gets well soon
i feel kinda sad when i saw her lying on the bed
i hope god will help her
pls, she's such a nice person

i've been asking myself if i've really made a mistake
i never know tat it can hurt so much
thanks for your understanding
i really mean it

damn the memories!

2008-07-10T21:48:00.000+08:00

教室里那台风琴叮咚叮咚叮咛
像你告白的声音动作一直很轻
微笑看你送完信转身离开的背影
喜欢你字迹清秀的关心
那温热的牛奶瓶在我手中握紧
有你在的地方我总感觉很窝心
日子像旋转木马在脑海里转不停
出现那些你对我好的场景
你说过牵了手就算约定但亲爱的那并不是爱情
就像来不及许愿的流星再怎黱美丽也只能是曾经
太美的承诺因为太年轻但亲爱的那并不是爱情
就像是精灵住错了森林那爱情错的很透明

goodbye

2008-07-10T21:11:00.000+08:00

ONG YUJIE and i had e same cca!
hahas
talked to her for 1.5 hrs after schl ytd
and we talked bout nanhua
yea
both of us re nt adapting well
we were sitting at e car porch
den tis guy walked past us and looked at us as if we re weird or something
hahas
den yujie said tat no one in SA sits on e car porch
unlike nanhua
where people sit EVERYWHERE
toilet, near e watercooler, stairs..
u name it, u got it
yea it jus reminds me of e days when 403 sit near e watercooler and eat together
when jing n i sat on e floor of the toilet when we were skipping lessons
those wonderful moments ;)
i'll rmb my sec schl days forever..

--i'm coping with my loss now--

2008-07-07T20:35:00.000+08:00

你眼睛会笑弯成一条桥
终点却是我永远到不了
感觉你来到是风的呼啸
思念像苦药
竟如此难熬
每分每秒
我找不到我到不了
你所谓的将来的美好
我什么都不要你知不知道
若你懂我这一秒
我想看到我在寻找
那所谓的爱情的美好
我紧紧的依靠
紧紧守牢
不敢漏掉
一丝一毫
愿你看到

2008-07-01T20:50:00.000+08:00

:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(
im feeling very terrible!!!
i hate these months in SA!!!
ok, let's see what had happened within these months
i learnt how to deal with the emptiness around me
i learnt how to blank my mind anytime i wanted
i learnt how to forget those lousy grades i got (not tat i've even cared before)
i tasted the loneliness as i walked down the corridors
i tasted failure that i've never tasted so strongly before
GOSHHHH
i could only see how much i am a failure now!
yes, failing in tests, friendships etc
i met new people with new characters
and i need to do what i hated most : adapt
AHHHHHH
i just wanted to be ME: uncouth, straightforward...
is that difficult??
vivian is damn right about some things
so are we going to become loners while we stayed true to ourselves?
or are we going to give in and be another person?
i hope there was no changes at all
i could have my frens, my grades, my tchers
guess wat i need most when i scored badly?
my fren's encouragement and constant nagging,
my tcher's harsh lecturing but at e same time, constant help
i miss everything in nanhua
when everything was simple and straightforward
i hate being a failure
but i am a failure
i guess this hurts the most
" Nothing is constant in the world, except change"
and i think i'm changing...
for the worse
the past is nothing but a bubble
which bursts just with one touch
the memories are nothing but pieces of glass
which cut your fingers just with one touch
just with one touch...
cos when i look back now,
it hurts
as i know i'm not ME anymore

--thk god, i still know u---

2008-06-30T21:02:00.000+08:00

ok i shall listen to liyan and update
hahas
FRIDAY
my GSC paper really sucks
cant really think and ans e qns in time
one hr and ten mins for paper 2?!
hais wat's done cant be undone
anw i went to orchard with cord and maple
well before tat, maple and i went toa payoh to meet cord
and there were 2 of their frens there
cord says " let me intro evon chio to u all"
den tis middle-aged property agent jus popped out and chatted with us
he was funny! hahas
after havin lunch with cord n maple,
i went to meet daph, liyan, weiling, liying, ros & vivian
hehe
den we shopped arnd far east and bought b'dae gift for anda

SUNDAY
went out with zilianers to town AGAIN
shopped in far east AGAIN
wahaha
we shopped for cindy gwee's dress for her wedding dinner
we were damn tired after all e walking and we go to cine L9
it's a kinda e-gaming hub
actualli we jus wanted to find a place to rest our feet
hahas
den we played e car-racing game
GRACE TEO WAS DAMNED FUNNIE!
her car keeps goin e wrong way and keeps turning arnd in circles!
laughed e hell out of me
thks to grace for e small little note,
and mel for e book =)
i hope we can realli hav a complete zilianers outing someday
btw, LIYAN!!
i bought sumthing for u
hahas
saw it at far east n i tot u'ld like it
but dun get ur hopes too high ...
it's nt a diamond ring
hahas

btw mi timetable for tis wk realli sucks!
y cant SA jus learn frm PJ?
hais

2008-06-25T18:05:00.000+08:00

HALO
i noe tis blog is kinda stagnant
forgive me cos it's EXAMS
i realli hate tat word
robbed me of mi happiness (which is left of)
ARGHHHHHH
and i can say tat i did very BADLY
i mugged, but mi brain capacity is too small
ARGHHHHH
im left with GSC now
i realli miss holidays
maybe cos i can meet up with those great gals
hahas
i promise i'll try very hard to make new frens
08S28 is still a great class
hahas
okok
byebye

****lonerlonerlonerloner****

2008-06-10T21:08:00.000+08:00

中间

多远能够走完这世界感觉放到极限
某天无声的雨正下在某处我被淋湿了
湿透我想才能更勇敢等着雨过天晴
忽然想要看彩虹可以拥抱我
我飞越一阵痛楚的转变懂的想的就那些
原来那就叫作生命的中间~
飞越一滴苦涩的眼泪雨点下的好直接
发现彩虹在天边渺小的我跑在最前面
那一边是明天
看见那看不见的时间当我有了从前
往前发出声音告诉这世界我想要什么
听见我已经开始冒险泪水流下安慰
哭过的脸最坚决放晴的瞬间
我飞越一阵痛楚的转变懂的想的就那些
原来那就叫作生命的中间~
飞越一滴苦涩的眼泪雨点下的好直接
发现彩虹在天边渺小的我跑在最前面
那一边是明天
不远来到一切的中间
转变会变灰色阴天到晴天
那天了解像勇气的无意间
出现生命有许多中间

i start listening to this song again
i think i can relate to this song now
is tat a gd thing or a bad thing?
mayb i just have to grow up
ok, i noe tis is an emo post
hahas
after seeing grace's tag, alot of memories came back
I LURRVE ZILIANERS!!

reply tags:
SIAO: heya=D let's meet up again k? i realli miss JJ08S29
GRACETEO: OKOK! I WAN2 MEET ZILIANERS!!!

~~当日子完了, 我站在你的面前, 你将看到我的疤痕, 知道我曾经受伤, 也曾经痊愈~~

2008-05-28T20:59:00.000+08:00

reply tags:
xh: heyhey! i've stopped being a caveman=) hahas how's poly life?

oh man!
i'm slacking throughout e first week of holi
hahas
i need motivation!!!!!!!!

btw wish cordelia, nadiah and dutt a happie trip to China =DD

I <3 JJC!!!

2008-05-23T21:13:00.000+08:00

todae is e last day of school
veri slack
hehe
school ends at 12=DDDD
so i went back JJ
OMG! I REALLY MISS JJ!
it's like everithing's e same
joane fetch us from e gate *touched*
but she cant join us for LJS cos she gt sumting on
after joane left, we stick to SHIHUI!
cant imagine she joined CO!
doesnt match her style lahh
hahas
and she was runnin around JJ, jumpin up and down
she's alwaes CRAZY
waited for jingwen to be released
meanwhile, i walked around JJ and memories just came flooding back
there were laughters and tears in every corner
though i was onli there for 2 months
it felt like i've been there for years
i miss those days OG3 went to play basketball and yujie tryin to shua shuai
i miss those days 08S29 pon lessons to crap and joke
i miss everithing in JJC
met OGL huimin!!'
she jus had her CT...
and she handed me mi dvd for orientation 1 -DD
WISH HER LUCK =DD
met mi dear Justine too
but she gt history excursion
so i jus gave her a big hug and chatted for a short time
saw xin yi (frm zps), xiao qiang, dejun, yuchuan etc
me, xy, shihui and jingwen went o JP for long johns' =D
and guess who we meet there?
WENSHI & HER BF!
hahas such a coincidence!
e 4 of us chatted happily while eating
jingwen's still funnie as usual
and obviously, her brain is nt changed yet
wahaha
i jus <3 their company!!
let's meet up one day and GO SHOPPING =D

i LURRVE JJC!!!!! <3<3

2008-05-20T16:47:00.000+08:00

reply to tags:
justine: hahas i miss zilianers too +DD realli hope tat one day we can find a time and meet up
daph: tat was just a part of mi conversation with mi fren haha. how re u?
zn: SHE GOT SECOND? OMG. i nv knew her dance was tt good hahas. SERIAL TENG'ER=DD

i think i need to do alot of things
but im jus rottin =(
btw, WEILING
I FOUND SOMEONE WHO LOOKS LIKE YOGA!!
at least tat's mi opinion
hahas
will try to get his pic and let u see =DD
i realli wan2 get well soon...
hais

if everything's just a dream, can it be longer?

2008-05-12T21:08:00.000+08:00

reply tags
zn: hey! WO YE HEN HAO! hahas.. i wish i'd gone to JJ talenttime... jinxian look pretty on ur collage hahas.. she danced?
liyan: hey gal =D im fine, u?? how's life?

SA lost to ACS in e rugby finals =(
hais nvm
try again nxt time
hahas

im sick =(

frens 4ever= BULLSHIT

2008-05-07T20:46:00.000+08:00

It starts with one thing, I dont know why it doesnt even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme to explain due time
All I know time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down till the end of the day
Clock ticks life away, it's so unreal
You didnt look out below, watch the time go right out the window, trying to hold on
Didnt even know, I wasted it all, just to watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it's meant to be, will eventually be, a memory of a time
When I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end, it doesnt even matter...
I had to fall, to loose it all...
But in the end, it doesnt even matter...
One thing, I dont know why it doesnt even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how I tried so hard...
Despite the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
Im surprised it got so far
Things arent the way they were before
You wouldnt even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end...You kept everything inside
And even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to be, will eventually, be a memory of a time
When I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end, it doesnt even matter
I had to fall, to loose it all
But in the end, it doesnt even matter
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far, as I can go
For all this, there's only one thing you should know
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this, there's only one thing you should know...
I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end, it doesnt even matter
I had to fall, to loose it all
But in the end, it doesnt even matter

"In The End" by Linkin Park
i like e chorus...
e lyrics just hit me...

In the end, it doesn't even matter...

2008-05-03T21:50:00.000+08:00

actually...
i didnt wan2 blog today...
but after seeing CORDELIA's tag...
hahas
but i duno how to reply oso...
hahas
CORDELIA: i think im e one helping u to gt a1 for econs...
u keep borrowing mi econs notes rite!!
hahas... naughty gal hu always dun pay attention in lectures!
and seriously, u shld improve on ur handwriting... wahaha

2008-05-02T21:14:00.000+08:00

just wan2 wish all mi AJ & AC frens
JIAYOU for ur CTs!!
rmb class motto?
AIM, SHOOT, SCORE!
=D=D
im talkin to EMO ELMO now!!
my new good fren =)
hahas

daph: I FORBID U TO EAT ANI ICE CREAM TILL U FULLY RECOVER!
ELSE I'LL SMACK UR BUTT!! hahas
dun stress urself too much hors! u can do it de=)

2008-05-01T19:20:00.000+08:00

maple: EMO ELMO still say i emo! hahas...
jing zhan didi: thks for e blogskin still... but i alr paid 2 bucks le

todae's labour day!!
i just love holidays!!
hahas
slackin at home all day...
i jus lurrve mi LG phone!
hehe
though i REALLI need to get used to it...
hahas
i wan2 join interact club!
pls lemme in!

2008-04-29T21:11:00.000+08:00

todae gt 3 periods of chem tutorials!!! =(
but luckily gt noisy cordelia to keep me awake..
hahas
she drew on mi chem tutorial AGAIN..
mrs wong, im innocent
those ugly drawings were done by cordelia han xin xuan =p
GSC WAS FUN!
hahas
was crappin with pamela and maple for e whole hour
we re in e same grp!! =D
n our topic is interesting : 同性恋
hahas
GSC was fun with these 2 gals

jing:
im so happie tat i can talk so much with u todae!!
it seems so long ago tat we've talked to each other alone..
hahas
JIAYOU for ur CT!!
thks for acc me todae even though u gt physix CT tml
=DD

vivian:
love u lots!!!
CHEER UP and stay happy!!
rmb there's alwaes me by ur side!!
i noe tchers SUX...
but jus bear with em for 2 yrs!
dun get in trouble with em animore!
hahas
JIAYOU!!
rmb SUBWAY?
hahas

I REALLI LOVE U GUYS ALOT!!

2008-04-28T20:42:00.000+08:00

i feel lost...
it's like i'm nowhere...
i envy e friendships shared by e others
like daph n liyan, weiling n liying, n among e zilianers
i noe im part of zilianers ..
but i dun share e strong bond...
probably cos we were separated for 2 yrs..
it was mi choice to select a diff combi...
hence being in diff classes..
i realli miss sec 1 & 2 days...
when i still have one fren i can call "best fren"
when i still have one united clique i can call "zilianers"
when i can still confide in u guys bout anithing...
when i can still crap with u guys for hrs...
when i can still play ji gou ba crazily in e library...
i realli <3 u guys!!
but we cant go back, can we?
during sec 3, i gt jiat ying n jinghui
tat was e craziest days i ever had..
ponning classes, gettin in trouble with tchers and mi grades...
hahas
but sum tchers are realli CRAP
n both of them re really CHILDISH!!
but i've gt fun with em =D
during sec 4, i've gt daph, liyan, liying, weiling n jing
those days were still... CRAPPIE
hahas
all of em re CRAPPERS..
rmb e days we'll look at e field n imagine there are cows...
rmb e days we'll try to put a drink in e lift n press e 5th floor button..
rmb e days we'll sit on e floor near e water cooler to eat...
rmb e days we'll go to je lib n mug...
rmb e days liyan was so hooked to LJS fries...

can i go back to those days?
i can feel e distance among us already...
regardless among e zilianers or jing etc
everione's busy with their own things...
it's hard to imagine once we were so close,
den today... it has become liddat..
im afraid to noe tat im e only one clinging on...
" Just get on with life"
jasmine said tat to me...
but i couldn't...
i'm a coward...
i just wan2 live in my comfort zone...
to me, memories aren't worth reliving...
cos they only hurt

SPEECH DAY!!

2008-04-26T19:24:00.000+08:00

ytd was e speech day n i was damned HIGH!

hahas..

wore blazer for e first time...
felt quite uncomfortable..

n i think i've spoilt venny's shoes=(

dunno y e skin peel off lors...

mi mum says cos long time nv wear will liddat

but still...

hais

dunno how to tell venny =(

but speech day was DUPER boring...

they have speeches after speeches..

me n xinyue sat together n crap throughout e whole session

hahas

xinyue: how? i veri scared i'll fall down on e stage lehh

me: ME TOO! if realli happen, i dun need to come back nanhua liao

hahas

tat was our biggest worry on tat dae..

xinyue was damned funnie when we wanted to take pic with mr pandian

me: pandian, we go canteen n take pic, cos got lighting!

pandian:okok... go canteen

xinyue: of cos mus go lahh, else cant see pandian's face in e photo, cos too dark

HAHAS!

mr pandian's expression was damned funnie

hsiao:好，我要走了。要好好读书！

me:老师，你要赶回家煮饭给老婆吃啊?

liyan:不是，是打蟑螂！

me:老师，你真的回家打蟑螂啊？

hsiao:不是，是倒垃圾！

mr hsiao is still so LAME

took pics with B.lim n mr yeo too!

waiting for alvin to send e pics =D

i miss zilianers like HELL

hahas

esp GRACE TEO

i think life in RJC and hwa chung is hectic

ZQ's eyes!! HAHAS RJC n SAJC looks quite similar!

2008-04-21T21:23:00.000+08:00

ARGH!!
todae is a bad dae...
I HATE TODAE!!
i'm in a bad mood nowadays
so forgiv me if i turn emo when im out with u guys
i noe i was kinda emo on sat durin e STAR2 thingy
so forgiv me, liyan n daph!
btw.. i noe it's quite a late post, but still...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LIYAN!!
hope u like e FLOURESCENT yellow bikini!!
hahas
and let's buy a white bikini for jing!
hehe
hope u like e card oso...
i did it during mi GSC period =P
hahas
STAY JOVIAL and continue to say " TALK CORK!" =D

2008-04-15T21:08:00.000+08:00

todae's GSC is quite fun cos of e omy.com thingy..

hahas

i think i blabber quite alot of nonsense

cixian e funniest

there were 2 grps

den we re supposed to insist on one stand

it was sumthing like a debate

den cixian was e first to talk

she talk n talk n talk

after tat we discover one thing

SHE WAS HELPING THE OTHER GRP!

muahaha

btw..

econs test was a killer...

and it killed me=(

gonna update some photos frm mi hp

LIVE CONCERT!!

hahas

Daph n i jumped!!

hahas

i'm so happie tat jing, daph n ks came=D

esp daph!

cos i nv see her for quite a long time le

hehe

she's as crazy as ever!

Daph took mi tie!!

2008-04-14T21:21:00.000+08:00

HEYA! tis gonna be mi first post for tis blog.
HAHAZ! so just gonna post some pics of Jeremy's b'dae gathering first...
AND i finally took pics with WONG LIYAN!
=D
tis gathering jus reminded me of e old times in 403...
good old times...
when i can just go crazy and run about in NH
hugging everione i noe
laughing like some mad woman
i realli miss 403
as well as ZILIANERS
it's amazing how we re living different lives now
when we were so close once
i noe i neeed to accept tat im alone in SA now
i just need TIME
hahas
ok
enuf of emo stuff...
I REALLI LURRVE 403 & ZILIANERS!!!

my food weiqi shy!

random...

the b'dae boy!

MY DEAR KIA KIA!!

cool! finally gt a pic with her! hahas=D

hey! e stupid liyan ran away! =(

JING! mi crazy fren hahas